A Sweet Escape

May 31st, 2012 Posted in Random Thoughts, Sing me a Song
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There’s a song that is playing in my head today, and it’s by Gwen Stefani. It’s a relatively old one, but I can help but resonate with the lyrics today. Sigh.

Suffice it to say today is proving to be such a challenging day. I’d like to believe tomorrow will be better. I’m trying hard to just sit with this unsettled feeling and not to give in to the desire to escape, whether it be in the form of digging into a tub of ice cream or a trip to the mall for some new funky and trendy clothes.

Sit with it, Ri. That should be escape enough.

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Day 6: A Song that Makes You Cry (or Nearly)

December 8th, 2011 Posted in Sing me a Song
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Most of my friends know that Christmas is always a bittersweet time for me and so doing this challenge at this time of year brought to mind this song….

no matter who covers, no matter how it’s done, it does bring a tear or two to my eyes. This is something my papa would sing to me back when I was a little girl.

On  an ordinary time, however, the song that brings me close to tears would be Luther Vandross’ Dance with my Father because it reminds me so much of my lolo.

Few days late…was busy :)

 

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Somewhere Beyond The Sea

October 6th, 2011 Posted in Gratitude Journal, Life Lessons, Project 365, Quote for the Day, Random Thoughts, Sing me a Song
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Today a song was playing in my  head. It goes

Somewhere beyond the sea
somewhere waiting for me
my lover stands on golden sands
and watches the ships that go sailin’

Somewhere beyond the sea
she’s there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
then straight to her arms
I’d go sailin’

It’s far beyond the stars
it’s near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
my heart will lead me there soon

I don’t know why but it just kept playing and playing all day long. Then I got to thinking (and this is always what gets me in trouble, haha) that maybe this is why I love the sea so much. It’s the place where I know my heart lies and my soul is whole.

And so that lover standing on golden sands is not someone else, but the me I often try to hide from the big, crazy world out there that spins too fast for my liking….the world where I find myself lost and confused, no longer knowing what or who to believe in. And I miss her oh so very, very much today. I miss knowing who I am. I miss knowing I am enough. I miss knowing I am okay, even if, despite of, and in spite of the craziness around me. I feel lost.

Today a wise woman, dare I say a wise friend, told me that I must remember to get in touch with that part of me and allow that inner self fill my longing heart with love and comfort, and so as I tried to reflect on her words, I thought of the place that really allowed me to get in touch with my soul, and realized that perhaps that’s why I find so much comfort in the sea. In the sea, I find me.

In search of the right words to explain why I find such comfort, I came across a quote by one of my favorite poets, Rainer Maria Rilke that goes:

That’s exactly what the sea is for me….a place where everything that leaves me
bewildered and confused goes away and is settled. It is where all the noise of the world is shut off and quieted, leaving me to feel what is essential and real. As I said, it is where I find “me”.

Though I may not find myself by the sea tonight, or any time soon for that matter, I have that lover waiting by the sea and soon, without a doubt, my heart will lead me there soon.

And so I end today with a more quiet and content heart, still filled with gratitude despite of all the confusion it has found itself in lately.

I am grateful for

♥  words of wisdom and the hard cold truth, even if it can take my breath away at the moment I hear it
♥ the comfort of afternoon naps
♥ the enjoyment I get from teaching my clinpsy classes, even though today’s lecture was more difficult than usual
♥ the joy my boys bring me
♥ the little things, like the Monster’s Riot and the Morning Rush, the thank you’s and how are you’s, and the bright rays of sunshine that warmed me today and brought a smile to my face.

gnyt.
177/365

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Not Ready to Make Nice

August 5th, 2011 Posted in Random Thoughts, Sing me a Song
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I have a song in my head tonight….

Um…I have learned to let go of a lot of things…I have learned to forgive those who have wronged me…and I have learned to ask for forgiveness to those I have wronged.

Forgetting, however, I wish it were easier.

And as the song goes:

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time
To go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
?Cause I’m mad as hell, can’t bring myself
To do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it??
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it

And so tonight I wish I find a way to forget. That ought to make a lot of things so much easier. Sigh.

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Some Days are Just Bad Days….

July 19th, 2011 Posted in Gratitude Journal, Project 365, Sing me a Song
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You work at a smile and you go for a ride….

after all, there’s gotta be something to smile about and be grateful for always, right? And so song on loop :)

and so….

♥ i am grateful for songs that make me smile. it feels nice.
♥ i am grateful for pasalubongs. it’s nice to be remembered.
♥ i am grateful for jokes. it’s good to have a laugh when you’re oh so tired
♥ i am grateful for FRESH CHERRIES! it was a pleasant treat on this trying day
♥ i am grateful for prayers. it’s really the only thing that i’ve got.

gnyt.
98/100

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Song on Loop :)

July 1st, 2011 Posted in Sing me a Song
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I keep hearing this song when I listen to 96.3 :) Every time I do, I remember my friends from those days in college.

oh, fond, fond memories :)

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Somewhere Over The Rainbow

June 19th, 2011 Posted in Sing me a Song
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I have a few favorite “pick-me-up” songs, and this is by far one of them

A few months ago, I was struggling with feelings I could not make sense of, so much so I needed to take a road trip to take a time out and just converse with my soul and on the way, this was the song that kept playing in my head.

I particularly love the opening lines of the song…

When all the clouds darken up the skyway
There’s a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
Just a step beyond the rain

It always, always reminds me that no matter how bitter the storms may be, or how much rain comes my way, there is always a rainbow in the making.

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Grace

June 17th, 2011 Posted in Gratitude Journal, Project 365, Sing me a Song
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Every once in a while, work gets exhaustingly tiresome.

Time and again, people around me push my buttons (and oh do they do it so well. gah)

Some days my boys really just get me so frustrated.

At times even my yoga practice seems like such a challenge.

And so today I just have to ask for grace. And maybe serenity.

Tonight i am grateful

♥ for the gift of the breath

♥ to know that every once in a while it’s okay to complain

♥ to be able to step away from the “flame”, so to speak

♥ for those who give me the push I need when I seem not to know where to dig it out from

♥ for grace.

 

 

 

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Lovin’ Maddi Jane

June 11th, 2011 Posted in Sing me a Song
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It’s been about, say, four months or so since my TV decided to die on me and I’ve been oooh sooooo lazy to have it fixed (toink me now!) and so I haven’t really been watching television at all. In the beginning, the quiet silence of my room was such a welcome change. Over the past few weeks, however, it started getting a wee bit monotonous and so I started You Tube-ing a lot. Teeheehee..

I discovered a whole lot of nice new artists because of it and this weeks new favorite is an 11-year old girl named Maddi Jane :)

Love love love :)


 

 

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The Ghost of A Girl I Used To Know

June 8th, 2011 Posted in Life Lessons, Random Thoughts, Sing me a Song
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Just last night I wrote a post in my other blog about how I missed being the me I used to know. That post was written in context of particularly being behind the wheel, but it dawned on me that perhaps a bit of this missing the girl I used to know stems from the fact that I really have changed a lot in the past year —from losing weight, to dropping some of my old habits and acquiring new ones, having people walk in and out of my life in many ways, and even adopting a new dog and finally deciding to pull myself up by the bootstraps and just grit my teeth and work through my thesis (which I promise to start formally working on next week!!!), all of these have made me suddenly lose the familiar comfort of just knowing who I was, what roles I am to play, and the direction by which I move. To some degree, I have lost a bit of my “predictability”, so much so that I even surprise myself at times.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t regret these changes. I don’t shun them either.And I guess a big part of me doesn’t fear it as much as I used to. On occasion, however, uncertainties and doubts creep in as I try to keep up and just be. There’s also, I guess,  just that part of me that misses the comfort and security that comes from knowing what to expect from people and things around me, as well as knowing what is expected of me.

And so today as I was listening to songs from this new artist I discovered, I came across such hauntingly beautiful words:

I’m the ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I’m the shell of a girl
That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again

Perhaps if I were to change one thing, though,  it’s the use of the word “Lonely”. Maybe the quiet solitude is more like it. And yes, this quiet solitude, though uncomfortable at times (such as this) reminds me of the value of letting go of what has been and opening up doors to what can be.

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