Thought Bubble Project

It’s almost a year since I took Joe home. 11 months, to be exact

I kinda feel bad that I don’t know when his exact birth day is. All I know is he was born in March of last year. This was a photo I took when I celebrated his first birthday on March 17. I decided on that date since he came to me on May 17.

I’m looking forward to many more years with my crazy coot, even if he is driving me nuts. He keeps ruining a lot of the stuff at home and I don’t know when he’ll stop! He’s managed to cut through the screens, scratch up the upholstery fabric until they tore, and he’s eaten my student’s homework. Literally! Hehe. But despite the punishments he’s gotten, he still goes back to behaving badly. Boo. I’m hoping its because he’s still a baby and he’ll finally stop. My crazy Joe-ness is love, nonetheless

Recently I found myself in an argument that played on the lines of “buti ka pa” (you’re better off).  It really pisses me off when someone says something like, buti ka pa, you’re free to do what you want, me, I need to get permission from my husband or I have kids kasi etc. etc.

I do not begrudge people of their feelings, don’t get me wrong. I just hate being told that my life is easier than theirs because of certain circumstances. Sure, maybe I don’t have the same concerns they do, but it doesn’t mean I am problem free. I may not be comparing prices of a standard stroller or looking for nannies for my kids, or even worrying about what to have prepared for my husband for dinner, but I also have my share of worries and concerns.

I’m just saying.

I wish I had a better photo of this…

I saw this in a store called Heima in CubaoX a few months ago when my friends and I went to check out this vegetarian place in the area. It’s an ordinary poster, but I was drawn to it. I guess this is what my heart really wants, yes?

Live.

Dream.

Be free.

There’s a song in my head tonight, and it goes a little something like this…

“Summertime
And the living is easy
Fish are jumping
The cotton is high
Oh your daddys rich
Your mamas good looking
I said hush little baby
Don’t you cry”

Today was an emotionally challenging day, I must say. Nothing really happened, however, which leaves me confused. Things have been going very well for me and I am sooooo grateful for all the wonderful blessings that have been coming my way. I just suddenly felt sad and nostalgic today. Hormonal? I dunno. I guess I was just missing things and people who have gone away.

I wish I could just lounge in one of those cedar Adirondack chairs, sipping a tall, cool glass of pink lemonade and have not a care in the world.

Like the song says, summer time and the living is easy.

I am sorely tempted to just take the easy way out. With my diet, that is.

Today I weighed myself and found myself feeling frustrated. No, I did not put on any weight, but I still am finding myself stuck at where I have been for the past six months or so. It is so damned frustrating. I don’t know what else to do. I am working out regularly naman. I am watching what I eat, in fact, I have gone completely vegetarian. I eat less sweets (unless fruits count). I don’t get it.

I’m a breath away from asking my friends for a list of cheap diet pills so I can just pick one and make my life so much easier.

Random rant from a frustrated dieter.

I love how the Universe always finds ways to remind me of what loving and being loved is all about. Not only that, it always manages to lead me to such healing places as it does that. The Farm at San Benito is one of those places.

Two Decembers ago, I had to bid my heart’s home, Balai sa Laiya, goodbye because it closed it’s doors. Back then I remember telling my wise sage that it seemed so apt that it happened then, because I felt that I had gone full circle already. I discovered Balai at the height of my Dark Night of the Soul and  at a point in time when I wished I never had to wake up again. Balai became a haven for me to heal and remember how to love myself and others around me.From then on every time my soul needed rest, I went to Balai. Read the rest of this entry »

The other day the box of goodies my sister sent from Sacramento finally arrived. It was supposed to be for Christmas, but she got way too busy over the holidays plus I think the shipping companies charge extra during peak season so she put it off a bit. Anyway, when I got home from a long day of work, I was happy to see it in my living room. It was soooo much fun to look at the contents.

Among the many goodies she sent us was this:

It also came with a whole bunch of other make up and beauty gadgets like curlers and tweezers. Too bad I forgot to ask for one of those seki edge nippers or nail trimmers, I could have so used that. Haha. Anyway, since I have a whole lot of new make up stuff, I can feel Project Prettify me making a comeback. Let’s see what happens But first I must figure out how to do eye makeup haha.

Today this is exactly how I feel

I am grateful for all the good things that have been coming my way but today I feel like I’m just running out of steam. It’s kinda like I am on this last thread and I may just snap…must take time out and regroup.

Where is this strain coming from? Why am I unraveling? Well, perhaps as my student put it yesterday, maybe we never really heal from our wounds. All that can really happen is that it gets better. And yeah, a lot of my old wounds are being tapped into right about now.

Thesis…birthday…”anniversaries”….

While I did think I let go of all those, so did everything else go. Even my sense of safety. Freefalling…so not fun.