I love living in the Philippines and I know I’m blessed to live in such a beautiful country. If I were to choose, however, where in this country, I’d like to live, Baguio would definitely not be on the top of my list. Or any mountainous place for that matter. I so dislike the cold and wet weather that you get in the mountains. My aunt has a place in Baguio and during the summer, we usually go up and try to get away from the Manila heat. But like I said, it’s not really my cup of tea. I do like the smell of the pine trees that hangs in the air. I enjoy sitting in front of the fireplace in the surprisingly comfortable hickory furniture in the living room. But if I were to really to choose where we’d go, I’d pick Boracay or some other beach-y place. Read the rest of this entry »
No to Baguio!
When Grief Comes Visiting
I know it is a bad time for me to be all sentimental and melodramatic this weekend, mainly because I REALLY, SERIOUSLY need to finish working on my darned thesis, but I can’t help it. I guess because the whole I idea of finishing my paper brings be back to the day my world did a complete turnaround and my path with this grieving began, when I lost something I held nearest and dearest to my heart.
It’s been a long time, I know, and since then, many things have changed. It took some time, but I finally was able to make amends with that which caused me such grief. I was able to start taking steps forward. I started to heal from that hurt and for the most part, I guess I was able to look back let go of the bitter pain that left me debilitated for the longest time.
These past few days however, I find myself being sentimental and nostalgic about things and thus it’s been a roller coaster ride for me. I find myself being visited by grief once again.
I guess it’s kinda like what that article I read last night said about grieving. In that article the writer said that having faith that in time, the sharpness of the pain of grief will go away but that despite that dulling, it does not really go away completely. When I was giving that some thought, I realized it is indeed true. The pain isn’t the same, I must admit. The sadness a different tone. But all in all, I really must say, it still exists.
Pop Pop Goes the Bubble
I have so many thoughts in my head but I can’t seem to catch them…they’re all popping…from excitement,from stress, from tiredness, from anticipation, from everything 
And so since there are so many random thoughts floating around, I did what I do best to quiet the noise in my head….I took a nap. Naps are now my new best friend
Har. In between naps, I did bathe my boys
Talk about a whole lotta randomness.
Thesising is Driving Me Insane.
I miss my random thought bubbles and being able to just be an airhead. Har. Seriously, though, the whole concept of research and tapping into the scientific, cognitive side of my brain is starting to take it’s toll on me. I do know I am capable and that I know what I am doing when it comes to doing research, however, let’s face it: it isn’t fun 
I miss being able to just be spontaneous and creative.
Almost there…just a few more days. But wait…just when I was about to pop the champagne and bring out some cheap cigars (figuratively, that is!), I get an email about my next research project for publication. Egaaaad.
One Year of Crazy Joe-ness
It’s almost a year since I took Joe home. 11 months, to be exact
I kinda feel bad that I don’t know when his exact birth day is. All I know is he was born in March of last year. This was a photo I took when I celebrated his first birthday on March 17. I decided on that date since he came to me on May 17.
I’m looking forward to many more years with my crazy coot, even if he is driving me nuts. He keeps ruining a lot of the stuff at home and I don’t know when he’ll stop! He’s managed to cut through the screens, scratch up the upholstery fabric until they tore, and he’s eaten my student’s homework. Literally! Hehe. But despite the punishments he’s gotten, he still goes back to behaving badly. Boo. I’m hoping its because he’s still a baby and he’ll finally stop. My crazy Joe-ness is love, nonetheless
Never Greener on the Other Side
Recently I found myself in an argument that played on the lines of “buti ka pa” (you’re better off). It really pisses me off when someone says something like, buti ka pa, you’re free to do what you want, me, I need to get permission from my husband or I have kids kasi etc. etc.
I do not begrudge people of their feelings, don’t get me wrong. I just hate being told that my life is easier than theirs because of certain circumstances. Sure, maybe I don’t have the same concerns they do, but it doesn’t mean I am problem free. I may not be comparing prices of a standard stroller or looking for nannies for my kids, or even worrying about what to have prepared for my husband for dinner, but I also have my share of worries and concerns.
I’m just saying.
Today’s Random Reminder…
I wish I had a better photo of this…
I saw this in a store called Heima in CubaoX a few months ago when my friends and I went to check out this vegetarian place in the area. It’s an ordinary poster, but I was drawn to it. I guess this is what my heart really wants, yes?
Live.
Dream.
Be free.
Summertime and the Livin’s Easy….
There’s a song in my head tonight, and it goes a little something like this…
“Summertime
And the living is easy
Fish are jumping
The cotton is high
Oh your daddys rich
Your mamas good looking
I said hush little baby
Don’t you cry”
Today was an emotionally challenging day, I must say. Nothing really happened, however, which leaves me confused. Things have been going very well for me and I am sooooo grateful for all the wonderful blessings that have been coming my way. I just suddenly felt sad and nostalgic today. Hormonal? I dunno. I guess I was just missing things and people who have gone away.
I wish I could just lounge in one of those cedar Adirondack chairs, sipping a tall, cool glass of pink lemonade and have not a care in the world.
Like the song says, summer time and the living is easy.
Easy Way Out
I am sorely tempted to just take the easy way out. With my diet, that is.
Today I weighed myself and found myself feeling frustrated. No, I did not put on any weight, but I still am finding myself stuck at where I have been for the past six months or so. It is so damned frustrating. I don’t know what else to do. I am working out regularly naman. I am watching what I eat, in fact, I have gone completely vegetarian. I eat less sweets (unless fruits count). I don’t get it.
I’m a breath away from asking my friends for a list of cheap diet pills so I can just pick one and make my life so much easier.
Random rant from a frustrated dieter.
My Hearts New Home
I love how the Universe always finds ways to remind me of what loving and being loved is all about. Not only that, it always manages to lead me to such healing places as it does that. The Farm at San Benito is one of those places.
Two Decembers ago, I had to bid my heart’s home, Balai sa Laiya, goodbye because it closed it’s doors. Back then I remember telling my wise sage that it seemed so apt that it happened then, because I felt that I had gone full circle already. I discovered Balai at the height of my Dark Night of the Soul and at a point in time when I wished I never had to wake up again. Balai became a haven for me to heal and remember how to love myself and others around me.From then on every time my soul needed rest, I went to Balai. Read the rest of this entry »
